


Love Has A Name

by kinoverse (hamogubin)



Category: Cravity (Band)
Genre: A LOT of Angst, Alternate Universe - College, Angst, Hamlem, Hyeongjun just wants to be reassured, M/M, No Beta read we die like men, Serim has a cameo, Wonjin is everything we all need, have i said it? Stan CRAVITY, rest of CRAVITY is mentioned, self doubt, stan cravity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-07 15:55:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26810242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hamogubin/pseuds/kinoverse
Summary: When everything gets too difficult for Hyeongjun, Wonjin is there to remind him of their love.
Relationships: Ham Wonjin/Song Hyeongjun
Comments: 10
Kudos: 27





	Love Has A Name

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! 
> 
> Thanks for happening to click on this one. I have a Y/N version of this posted in my instagram. This is the original version, by the way. 
> 
> I love HamLem to death, next to SeriWoo and MoguHam.
> 
> I only wrote this for fun, just like all the stuff I have in here. Please don't take it too seriously. 
> 
> Anyways, enjoy reading! <3

Two weeks. 

It's been two weeks since Hyeongjun began to cave in to every single word that his negative side would tuck inside his head. It was only a matter of time before the bomb exploded until every inch of him can no longer take it... and it did.

Hyeongjun would stop functioning for a while, keeping away from everything that might make it worse and locking himself inside the comforts of the house. He's basically just there, he could feel himself breathing, he's alive, he's still okay... but not really.

In short, Hyeongjun always shuts himself out from the rest of the world. 

It has happened before and it took everything in Minhee, Hyeongjun's longtime chilhood and best friend, to help him get back up. It was way worse compared to his situation now, if he thinks back during their high school days, were he literally would stop coming to school and even shut his own room from Minhee who was always welcome inside their household. Then, when Hyeongjun manages to crawl back up again, he pretends it never happened, that he never acted like he shut the rest of the world out.

It may seem out of the blue that Hyeongjun would get struck down, like thunder and lightning had suddenly come crashing into his life, but in reality he knew it deep down that it's because he would force himself to keep it all in until he can no longer take it. Because that's what he has always done, because that is all he has ever known to do. 

And that doesn't make Wonjin, his boyfriend of almost two years, an exception from it all. 

It isn't that Hyeongjun wanted to ignore him but he didn't have anything to say. He didn't have the words to explain his situation and Hyeongjun thinks it would just add to Wonjin's burdens if he were to know what was going on with him. He just couldn't bring himself to contact Wonjin -not a text, not a call, nothing. And so, it has been two weeks since then. 

When Hyeongjun woke up, god forbid that he ever open his eyes to the blinding sunlight and honking cars again, he couldn't help but feel a churn in his stomach. 

As much as he wanted to stay in bed, Hyeongjun had no choice but to get some food. He still had to survive, someway, somehow. 

And only after the red head had rummaged through their fridge and cabinet that he realizes they had run out of supplies. Not even a simple snack could be found. He figured Seongmin and Taeyoung had forgotten to stack up on their supplies after he had reminded them of it knowing how busy the two are with upcoming exams and all. 

To no avail, Hyeongjun had no choice but to go out and buy some groceries good enough to feed himself for at least until he finds himself getting back on track again, and for his two growing roommates. 

Thankfully, the store wasn't that packed and Hyeongjun was left minding his own business peacefully. 

As much as the younger hated going out, it felt actually nice to just walk around at his own pace, grocery shopping without any disruption. 

Well, not until... 

"Junnie?"

Turning around to find the voice who spoke his nickname, he sees his Serim hyung standing there across the aisle with two baskets in his hands. If it wasn't for his grey blue-ish hair, Hyeongjun wouldn't have known it was him, as he was wearing a black mask.

"Hyung, hey..." Hyeongjun couldn't help but look down and suddenly feel uneasy. Why did it have to be now? And out of all people, why did it have to be Serim? 

The next thing he knew, Serim was standing beside him and just shoving things inside his baskets. 

"How have you been these days?" The older asked, not looking Hyeongjun in the eye, busily scanning the aisle for something. 

"Good," Hyeongjun muttered and he heard the Serim hum in response. 

"Look, Hyeongjun, I don't know what happened and much more how it happened but I know you guys need to talk it out. Wonjin's been so out of it and you are, too, I can tell. So, please, find the time to talk to each other, okay?" 

But, of course. 

He should've expected to hear that from Serim. Of course he knew, he lived with Wonjin and the rest of their friend group, apart from Minhee, Jungmo, Seongmin, and Taeyoung, after all. 

Looking back at it, Serim was the one who introduced Hyeongjun to their group of friends including Wonjin. He just transferred from their local college during third year, landing in a dorm with Seongmin and Taeyoung. Serim was his senior in the same department and due to natural circumstances they began hanging out until eventually they all formed a group of nine friends. 

Serim was also one of the many witnesses to the development of Hyeongjun and Wonjin's friendship that led to them dating. In fact, he was the one who encouraged them to take it up a notch. And when Wonjin graduated six months ago, he moved in to Serim, Woobin, and Allen's shared apartment, with Hyeongjun and the youngest of the bunch left in the university dorms for another year. 

Now, Hyeongjun just felt guilty. He couldn't even look Serim properly in the eye. 

"I will." His voice was hush but that was enough confirmation for the older. 

"Wonjin has no schedules this saturday," Serim informs and Hyeongjun could only nod after that. 

"Can I give you a hug, Junnie?" To his surprise, he finds Serim putting down the baskets and opening his arms towards Hyeongjun and he couldn't help but let out a sigh before accepting the hug from the older. 

The hug was kind, warm. It was reassuring and Serim made sure he felt that. And Serim need not to say anything else nor did Hyeongjun because they both understood. 

"Thank you, Hyung." Honestly, it took all of Hyeongjun not to burst into tears at that moment. 

"You're always welcome, Hyeongjun. Also, just know that Wonjin will always be willing to listen to you," Serim says as he collected his things, giving the younger a slight wave before disappearing into the dairy section. 

His walk home was a blur. Hyeongjun didn't even notice he was already standing in front of their dorm until he had to set the grocery bags down to let himself in.

What Serim said kept on echoing through his head, and Hyeongjun knew he was right. He and Wonjin have to talk. Wonjin doesn't deserve the silent treatment he has been giving him for the past two weeks. Wonjin mattered so much more to Hyeongjun than keeping him locked away from himself and his inner thoughts, and the younger knew it. 

And so, Hyeongjun finds himself texting Wonjin that Saturday, to talk.

Hyeongjun hasn't even opened his messages for so long. There were a few texts from his parents asking how he was holding up in university and some from Minhee who blabbered about the dates he and Jungmo have been going to, but mostly it flooded with Wonjin's constant messages since the very day he decided to ignore everything and everyone. 

Not a day goes by that Wonjin would not be sending him good mornings, updates how his day went, good nights, and even selcas. 

But what made Hyeongjun's heart ache even more was the way the older would always write how much he misses the two of them together, how he promises to take Hyeongjun out on dates during his free time, and how much he loves him in every single one of them. 

Hyeongjun felt like he didn't deserve Wonjin and yet, there he was. Ever so constant, ever so present in whatever way he could just to let the younger know he was there, he was still there, and he was always going to be there, waiting for him. 

Sighing heavily, Hyeongjun managed to type in the words he had repeated inside his head since he had bumped into Serim in the grocery, and with a blink of an eye he sent those words to Wonjin. 

What was the point of contemplating and hesitating, anyways? Hyeongjun thought. 

He knew he has made Wonjin wait more than long enough and his boyfriend deserved to know what was going on, or at least, the version of it that Hyeongjun would be able to articulate into words. 

Not even a minute after and he already received a reply from Wonjin. 

Here goes nothing, then. There was no escaping this anymore. Hyeongjun knew if he truly loves Wonjin, he was going to have to face it, and better sooner than later. 

As much as it anxiously bothered him, a glint of hope was slowly creeping in. Maybe Wonjin would understand, maybe he'd find the words Hyeongjun couldn't grasp for himself, maybe he'd be there, maybe he'd tell the younger everything he has ever wanted and needed to hear, maybe Wonjin would stay. 

Sure, they had been together for a long time already but there's still so much they haven't experienced together in that long time. 

When Wonjin was still in university, they had all the time to themselves, going on countless dates, hanging out in their dorms, studying together in the campus library, or simply just meeting each other at night to talk about stupid stuff. 

But ever since Wonjin had graduated and started looking for a job, they barely get to text each other even on time, much more to see each other due to conflicting schedules. 

Every moment felt fleeting between the two of them. 

As if life is telling Hyeongjun to enjoy what he has right now with Wonjin for it might be the last. That's how it was like, how it has always been since they started living away from each other. 

And maybe that was one of the reasons why Hyeongjun even acted like this in the first place, why shutting the rest of the world out felt like the safest thing to do. 

Because it scared him. 

It scared him to lose Wonjin, his best friend, love of his life, and soulmate. And it was for all the things that weren't yet also there, sitting there inside Hyeongjun's head, mocking him, taunting him, laughing at him, torturing him every chance Hyeongjun's head was full of quiet. 

But they all become too much even for the mentally tough and positive Hyeongjun to handle all alone. 

And it's not his fault, as Wonjin was on his way to prove that.

To say that Hyeongjun was feeling anxious to see Wonjin would be an understatement, so, he found himself pacing back and forth in their cramped living room while waiting for him. 

Thankfully, Seongmin and Taeyoung had a packed schedule in the university so he had all the dorm to himself today. 

In a short while, he comes hearing a knock on the door and Hyeongjun trudged heavily on his way to open it, hands beginning to sweat. 

And there he stood. 

The very first thing he sees is Wonjin, a worried and nervous expression, completely masking his boyfriend's face. 

"Hyeongjun-ah..." His voice was soft, it filled with so much worry, and yet anyone could still hear the care that came with it as he called Hyeongjun's name. 

"You can come in, Hyung," the younger managed to utter before stepping back to let Wonjin inside, and he couldn't help but stoop his head down low.  
  
Hyeongjun noticed the tremble in Wonjin's hand as he closed the door behind him and the both of them stood there in awkwardness. 

It was only then that reality began hitting Hyeongjun. 

"Jun, what happened? Where were you? Do you know how worried I was? I thought you never wanted to see me again. Please talk to me, baby." Closing the gap between the two of them, Wonjin managed to cup Hyeongjun's cheek in one of his hands, slowly and gently raising his head to make the younger look at him in the eye. 

As Hyeongjun looks up, he finally sees Wonjin, eyes brimming with tears. 

He looked so heartbroken, he looked so lost and confused which was all it took before Hyeongjun burst into his own tears crashing himself onto Wonjin's chest as he cried. 

It hurt him to see Wonjin that way, and knowing full well that it was his fault was the most painful, seering stab Hyeongjun has ever felt in his chest. 

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Hyung. I was being stupid. I wasn't thinking and I... I just... I..." As he was trying to find the words, Hyeongjun felt Wonjin's hand press onto his back and started rubbing circles on it. 

"Jun-ah, don't cry... I'm sorry I wasn't there, I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you when you were having all these thoughts. I'm sorry I couldn't replace them with my own. I'm sorry you had to go through it alone, baby." 

The next thing he knew, both he and Wonjin were crying on each other's shoulder, trying to soothe and comfort each other's overwhelmed hearts. 

Hyeongjun was being selfish, it didn't even crossed his mind how the older must have been feeling since he decided to hide away. He left him in the dark, without any explanations and nothing hurt him more than seeing Wonjin look so broken because of him. Guilt was eating him there and then. 

After a while, they found themselves inside the kitchen sitting across each other.

"Hyeongjun, I am always here, alright? Never think, not even for a second, that I would ever get tired of being there for you. When you find yourself wrestling with your thoughts and the voices in your head, you come calling me and I'll let you listen to mine, okay?" Wonjin begins as he holds Hyeongjun's small hands with his, "When it tells you things like 'Wonjin hyung is going to leave you,' 'you're not worth his time,' or 'you shouldn't talk to him,' you call me and I'll make them go away. Because they aren't true. I have always loved you and I always will. You're my rest and shelter amidst all of the difficulties I face, and I can assure that you have all of those in me, too." Wonjin looks at him in the eyes as he says those words and there was something in them that made Hyeongjun believe, that made his weary heart break free. 

For once, every single bad thing that negativity has ever spoken to him felt so tranquil, as if they have never even been there before. 

Hyeongjun looked at Wonjin and the older gave him a smile, as he squeezed his hands in a firm hold. 

He found himself muttering a thank you, before Wonjin stood up, kneeling in front of Hyeongjun before the older cupped his cheeks and gave him a soft kiss on the forehead. 

He was all it took. 

Wonjin was all it took to silence Hyeongjun's lonely battle with the voices in his head. 

From then on, he made sure Hyeongjun wasn't going to fight them all alone because that's how much the younger mattered to him. 

And that's how love found itself embracing Hyeongjun, bearing the name of Ham Wonjin. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this!
> 
> I'd love to hear from you. uwu


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